Can I Waste My Time?

written by Lilo Aurora

Lilo: I feel like I wasted my time on many projects that had no real value and extended a true gift. I feel ashamed because I think of myself as being distracted, unclear, unhelpful and that I can’t be trusted to work on something myself.

Can I truly waste my time, make wrong decisions, mess up and be helpless and lost? 

Inner Wisdom: Thank you for sharing those thoughts and emotions. It is so good to get clear on what is coming up for you right now and to put it out on paper so we can work through it together. 

When believing in time, there is always the anticipation of a past and future in which one can seemingly do or have done things wrong or right. What we want to first get really clear on is, “Where did the upset start?” Was it when the event was taking place or is it going on right now in the mind’s imagination? 

Looking into the source of the upset, we can see that the thoughts are being thought right now and that the event is not actually taking place. We can then start to question whose thoughts they are. Where are the thoughts coming from? What is thinking these thoughts?

It is the ego in the mind that projects out a world with a seeming past and future, to keep one in fear through imagined scenarios and events. This is how one gets distracted with the world rather than to be present with what is here now. One will then feel the ego’s emotions and hear its thoughts, suggesting something has gone wrong or right or might go wrong or right, and even making up images in the mind of how things can be right or wrong. 

Since both the past and future are imagined, can one truly know that what the ego is suggesting is what happened or what will happen? Can one say with absolute certainty that these thoughts are accurate? 

As it is the ego’s purpose to keep one distracted from the present joy and inspiration, one can take a moment to pause and notice what is going on on the mind-level and what is being believed in. 

In allowing the ego’s emotions and thoughts to come up, the misidentification with the ego can be exposed. One can then disidentify and observe the ego’s thoughts, seeing they are not one’s real thoughts. In the realization that the present moment never left, doors can open to the idea that maybe things are not as the ego says them to be. 

As we go one step deeper to inquire and look at the beliefs underneath these arising thoughts and emotions. Some examples may be: “I am not good enough. I am lacking. I am alone and separated. I am a victim of the world. I need to be careful and plan for a better future unlike the past. Past and future are real. I have to take care of myself.”

When there is a misidentification with the ego’s thoughts, emotions and beliefs, one is looking through the ego’s darkened lens of fear and separation, not clearly seeing the loving reality that one is fully supported and held by God in every moment.

Once the misidentification with the ego and its emotions, thoughts and beliefs are questioned and raised to the light, one can start to open to the realization that everything is taken care of and that one had it wrong all along. Everything has been going exactly as planned. Nothing that had been thought and believed was ever true. It was the ego’s thoughts and beliefs that made one feel one could mess things up and be lost and alone.

Now one can relax and rest back into the arms of not knowing one’s best interest, following the intuitive flow of the moment. 

When the darkened glass crumbles one is left with a peaceful and joyful heart, seeing all that ever seemed to have gone “wrong” or “didn’t go as planned” was actually perfect to realize that all there is is now and what was imagined was simply a distraction from Being here now, in peace. 

One can let the moment unfold, knowing there’s nothing to do or to accomplish. All that seems to happen is always going according to the plan for Awakening and one can trust that it is impossible to step out of this plan. 

You are so held and guided, Loved One. 

Rest in Me and be assured you will feel like you are floating through the day as a feather in the wind.

I love you.