Beloved Friend: When I see myself assigning consequences to my children for certain behaviour, I feel so contracted when I buy into these roles. Could you please help me see this differently?
Loving Reminder: Love is unconditional
Yes, thank you for raising this up to look at it differently!
I will use the analogy of going to watch a movie in the movie theater. When you sit down and watch the movie, you are the observer of the movie in the audience, and then there are all of the characters acting out a script on the screen. Yet, the movie has already been acted out, filmed, put onto film, and is now just being projected out onto a blank, white screen. Many often go to movies to get lost in the film, taking on the roles of the characters on the screen. You yell at them not to go down that dark alley, forgetting it is just a movie! One tends to forget that one has no control of the events or outcomes of what is happening on the screen.
Similarly so, your daily experience of life is all involuntary. What is done, behaviourally, comes from what is thought and believed in mind. Therefore, there is no real autonomy in behaviour, as it is an effect of the mind and the interpretations it gives it.
Since behaviour is all involuntary, one never has control over the world that one seems to perceive. This may be scary to the ego. However, through the Eye of the true Self, there is no mentally constructed image of how a seeming situation should be. Everything is playing out how it is playing out perfectly because it is arising, and is happening without any personal control. The sole responsibility in life is to begin taking 100% responsibility for one’s state of mind, for how one is feeling and for what one seems to be perceiving. Not to self-loathe from guilt but as a recognition that I can choose differently.
In watching a movie, one’s state of mind is always under one’s direction, rather the what is happening on the screen. If any reactions arise from whatever may be presented in the world, it is for one to question these reactions and open to seeing that all emotions and reactions are an effect of false ego thoughts and ego-belief in mind—a split desire in mind for something other than present peace. If the mind is aligned with the ego and is split in desire for something other than the present experience of peace, the only logical result is lack of peace.
What unloving thoughts and beliefs are arising in mind that are seemingly hindering you from seeing the perfection and innocence of all beloveds, including yourself? It is these thoughts which give rise to frantic emotions and then is projected onto perception, such as the children.
See that these reactions are not caused by anything of the world, even the child, but by the mind’s misidentification to egoic thoughts and the false ego-belief that is offering the mind false images about the way things should be. Just as the true Self accepts everything As It Is and then proceeds forth from inspired ideas or guidance, the false sense of self resists everything and misuses imagination to offer images of how it wants things.
All upset or lack of peace can be traced back to the desire to misidentify with a false sense of self and its false belief that something should be different than it is in the world for me to be peaceful, happy or complete. This is the split desire which places the Happiness and Peace that You Already Are into a future goal, where it is never found.
It is this misidentification that needs to be questioned and seen as false. It only seemed you were upset by your children or the world because you were afraid to look upon these false thoughts and the power of the mind. Claiming the power of the mind would mean accepting responsibility that it is only you who does everything to yourself yet, used the world as a seeming scapegoat so that you could seem to play out a belief in being an innocent victim.
One transcends anger and variant ego emotions not by projecting them onto the world but through true forgiveness, meaning to question and see the unreality of this misidentification with the ego arising in awareness. Coming back to the singular desire for the present experience of peace. In overlooking any other goal the true Self, the experience of Lasting Peace, is left shining As It Is. This Experience is Glorious, indeed!
By taking full responsibility, you no longer claim to play the victim role. Through the realisation that you have never been a victim, consistent Peace and the awareness of the true Self You Already Are dawns as an instant acceptance, rather than something that is gained in the future.
Healing is non-linear as it takes no time to be What You Already Are. You always have the ability to choose, until peace is the only experience, how you see what is happening. In this, only innocence and love is experienced as everyone is seen as One with You. This is indeed Love Itself, for Love is seeing the Oneness beyond form or dualistic appearances.
Love is unconditional, as Love sees and extends only Love. Everything else arises for you to see what you are valuing or desiring more than this unconditional Love and Innocence, or more than the experience of Self or Present Peace. Day-to-day experiences are here to wake the mind up to the true Self that never slept.
You are right where you need to be to continue extending the Love and Peace that You Are Now. Now is the opportunity to choose again and extend the innocence and love to everyone that shares the same Reality or Being as You.
Thank you so much for your presence. You are so loved exactly as you are!