How do I deal with emotions and thoughts during Awakening?
Dylan: Intense emotions and thoughts arise from the false sense of self, called “the ego.” While the mind experiences itself as split, conflicted, it appears to misidentify with a false sense of self and takes on false responsibility for the ego. The ego’s unloving thoughts, emotions, and perceptions are now misinterpreted as “my” thoughts, emotions and perceptions.
It can initially be helpful to either share these thoughts in a place of non-judgement, through self-inquiry, or intuitive guidance and insight so that these thoughts, and the misidentification with them, can be seen as false!
Here, one may recognise that all that is required is a gentle observation of the ego, along with its unloving thoughts and emotions, in which they are not judged but seen as illusory or false, and then overlooked (termed forgiveness in ACIM).
These egoic thoughts, emotions and perceptions arise in mind, but one is essentially the true Self that is beyond the ego thought system.
You may also refer to the “What is Forgiveness” section in A Course in Miracles.
Sit with these questions below
1) What is the perception of my upset?
2) What emotions am I noticing in regards to this perception?
3a) What thoughts are underneath this?
3b) What beliefs are underneath this?
4) Do these thoughts reflect the ego or the Spirit? (I can tell the difference by the way I feel)
5) If these are the ego’s thoughts, they are not my thoughts which are Loving in nature. This means I don’t have to believe or misidentify with them as if they are. I visualize myself giving them over or placing them in a fire to be dissolved in Love.
Therefore, I am grateful for the form being the way it is so that it could raise the misidentification with these thoughts and beliefs in mind for me to see as false.
I want to be wrong about my split desire for something other than peace of mind. I now desire present peace knowing nothing in perception could be different than how it is.
Example Dialogue with Dylan
1) What is the perception of my upset?
I am confused and have lack of peace around my blog and website.
2) What emotions am I noticing in regards to this perception?
I feel yucky, restlessness, confused and a lack of inspiration around writing.
3a) What thoughts are underneath this?
People wont understand what I am writing, people will judge me for what I am writing, I have to go back and reread and rewrite what I have written 100x for it to be perfect for others, my blog is not good enough, I have to over explain myself.
3b) What beliefs are underneath this?
I believe something should be different than it is. I believe the form has to be perfect for me to have worth, peace or happiness. I believe I have to be understood to be worthy or right in someway. I believe I will be judged and am a victim.
Ultimately, I believe that I am a separate self that is doing something for a worldly outcome, and that something in the world has to be different than it is for me to be at peace.
4) Do these thoughts reflect the ego or the Spirit? (I can tell the difference by the way I feel) These thoughts and beliefs reflect the ego to me because I am not at peace.
5) If these are the ego’s thoughts, then they are not my thoughts which are loving in nature. This means I don’t have to believe or misidentify with them as if they are. I visualize myself handing them over or placing them in a fire to be dissolved in Love.
Oh wow [laughter], they are not even my beliefs or thoughts and not even my feelings. These are just the ego’s thoughts and feelings, and I was just misidentifying with them and giving them reality because I was thinking they were mine.
I now see that as false, that they are not my thoughts. This means I am innocent and worthy just as I am, and my peace and happiness are not dependent on anything in the world changing. It is just the acceptance of the approval and worth I already have and am, rather than placing that into a future goal.
I can see now that the ego was saying I needed to write this blog for others, for other’s approval, and so that others would understand otherwise I was wrong and guilty.
Because I attached to and believed these thoughts I experienced the resulting upsetting emotions of guilt, and thought the upset was because of the blog. Now I see the upset was the misidentification with the ego, with these thoughts and beliefs in mind.
Therefore, I am grateful for the form being the way it is so that it could raise the misidentification with these thoughts and beliefs in mind for me to see as false.
I want to be wrong about my split desire for something other than peace of mind. I now desire present peace knowing nothing in perception could be different than how it is.
So yeah, I actually am grateful for the blog and how the blog is just being used to bring up these thoughts and beliefs. I can see them as false. I can drop the split desire for future approval by others and just desire peace now. That is so much easier than trying to find a solution in the world with the blog and pleasing other people. The blog then is just for myself, teaching what I would learn and not for a form outcome or approval.
There was just a split desire, on the mind level, to for something other than present peace. I can drop that and choose again for the singular desire for present peace of mind.
One Silent Mind 